Naming Hepatitis C Drugs

I have a fairly good memory for remembering the names of drugs. The hepatitis C drugs have been easy, because there are basically 4 generic names: peginterferon, ribavirin, boceprevir, and telaprevir. However, my foggy brain is trying to figure out how to remember the names of the drugs that are in clinical trials. They all end in “vir.” Here are some examples:

• simeprevir
• faldaprevir  
• sofosbuvir
• ledipasvir
• daclatasvir 
• samatasvir
• asunaprevir 

These are just a few. Then there are drugs with numbers, and combinations of drugs, such as medivir (combined simeprevir and samatasvir ). So, I propose that we make things easier for our hepatitis C brains by coming up with memorable names. Here are suggestions:

• HepC Killer
• HepC-B-Gone
• Sayonara HepC
• HepC Relief
• ByeBye HepC
• Liver Renew
• Dynomite HepC

Image courtesy of pixtawan/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What are your suggestions?

Medical Humor to Tickle the Liver

The following entries appeared in Rockingham Hospital medical records. Although these are funny, if you think about it, it’s horrifying. The first one is liver-related.

• The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
• Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful. 
• Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch
• She is numb from her toes down.
• While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
• The skin was moist and dry.
• Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
• Patient was alert and unresponsive.
• Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
• She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
• I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
• Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
• The patient refused autopsy.
• Skin: somewhat pale but present.
• Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
• Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Ten Rules for Hepatitis C Treatment

I was moody and short-tempered during all three of my hepatitis C treatments. Here are my tongue-in-cheek rules for how to manage anger during while taking hepatitis C medications.

1. Set up a tent in your backyard, local park, or anywhere at least 300 yards away from you. Banish anyone who doesn’t agree with you to live there, until they admit that you are right. I call it a ribavirin hut. If I am mad, you go to the ribavirin hut. After all, I am the one suffering here, so why should I give up my comfortable bed?
2. Do not get a new computer or new operating system during this time. Avoid Window 8. Apple users—go ahead and feel smug and superior.
3. Never call customer service while on hepatitis C treatment. It won’t be pretty.
4. Keep hammers and other weapons a minimum of 50 feet from all computers, phones, and people.
5. Do not watch the news. Let’s face it, news is a downer.
6. Carry earplugs with you at all times to block out unwanted sounds, such as barking dogs, whining neighbors, and elevator music.
7. Do not sign any contracts while on hepatitis C treatment. 
8. If you are a gun owner, give your guns to a trusted friend until your treatment is over; someone who lives far away. I am serious about this.
9. Practice restraint of pen and tongue. Remember you still want to have friends when treatment is over.
10. Be prepared to apologize later. You may think your anger is justified, but unfortunately, you probably were in a state of altered consciousness, and perhaps over-reactive. Forgive yourself.  

    

    Image courtesy of Stuart Miles /FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Admiring the Liver through a Kaleidoscope

“At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.” – Jean Houston

I love this quote. It prompted me to imagine looking at a liver through a kaleidoscope. All that bile, blood, lymph fluid, hormones, liver cells, and so on. I imagine it like the play/movie Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Which leads me to an idea for a movie—Lucinda and the Amazing Hepatic-color DreamLiver.

Perhaps I should have just stopped at the quote. Sometimes my imagination closely resembles the features of certain psychiatric diagnoses. Sigh. Liver comedians are frequently misunderstood. 

Another Hepatitis C Jingle

I’ve been singing hep C songs all week, and here is my newest one. Sing it to the tune of “I’m a Little Teapot”

I’m a little liver, big and stout

Here is my lobe, here is my duct 

When I get all liquored up, hear me shout 

Just leave out the booze, and I won’t crap out!

I’m a clever organ, yes it’s true 

Here’s an example of what I can do 

I can change my cells from bad to good 

Just leave out the booze, and I won’t crap out!

 Image courtesy of gubgib /FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Come Alive, You’re in the Hep C Generation

If I were going to imagine a theme song for my blog, I’d rewrite an old Pepsi commercial aired in the 1960’s—Come Alive, You’re in the Pepsi Generation. I would change the words to Come Alive, You’re in the Hep C Generation. This jingle was at its height when many Baby Boomers were first contracting hepatitis C. The commercial targeted young, “hip” consumers, so the irony is not lost on me that I chose this song.

Image courtesy of piyato /FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Something liberating happens to me when I substitute Hep C for Pepsi. Perhaps the light tone of the music offsets the heaviness of this potentially life-threatening disease. Or, it is the notion that we can “come alive” despite living with this virus that now kills more people every year than HIV does. Or is it the sheer irreverence of imaging that Come Alive, You’re in the Hep C Generation could be the battle cry for today’s Baby Boomers…

To watch the original commercial, visit You Tube

Hepatitis Awareness Month

May is Hepatitis Awareness Month, and this is the second annual observation of this event. I was thinking about what “Hepatitis Awareness Month” means, and although I am sure the goal is to increase the public’s awareness, it did occur to me that Hepatitis Awareness Month could have other implications.

First, it could mean to make hepatitis more aware. I can see me lecturing my hepatitis C, “Keep your eyes open; watch where you are going. Hey be careful, you are damaging my liver. For goodness sake, use some contraception, you are multiplying too fast”

Second, it could mean that the month is dedicated to hepatitis awareness, but the rest of the year gets a break. “Hey, no need to watch what I eat in June, since hepatitis awareness was so last month.” Not true, of course.

All joking aside, 75% of those who have hepatitis C are completely unaware of the fact that they harbor a harmful, potentially deadly virus. Please help participate in Hepatitis Awareness Month, and make your efforts a yearlong commitment.

For more information, see the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.